As Dr. Gabor Maté so eloquently explains in The Myth of Normal, trauma strikes just about everyone in life, in ways seen and unseen. And, as he states early in the work, we know we've personally experienced it when we find ourselves forever changed by it. Sometimes, all it takes to make a book stand out is just one aspect that suddenly opens up a world of understanding. For me, this one simple definition of trauma -- its telltale sign -- was nothing short of revelatory. I found it so meaningful that, had it been the only insight I gleaned from this exhaustive work, I would have been completely satisfied with my purchase. But, as I read on, this one insight became a wealth of insights. In both breadth and depth, this book is truly exceptional.

For those who've experienced significant trauma, beware. Like Bessel van der Kolk's seminal bestseller, The Body Keeps the Score, The Myth of Normal is not a comforting read, particularly in its early chapters when Maté explains how traumatic events can lead to disease, personality disorders, and addictions in its victims years, even decades, later. It's sobering to learn just how much power primary caregivers unwittingly have over their children's mental, emotional and physical health well into adulthood. That's why this book should be a must-read for anyone raising or planning to raise a child.

Maté makes it clear, however, that parents are not the sole influence of their children's health and well-being. In fact, much of the book deals with what he considers toxicities inherent in today's society that present challenges for even the best of parents. These toxicities are staggering in scope and pertain to everything from pop culture to race, gender, class, politics and even our late-stage capitalism. Maté leaves virtually no stone unturned in showing us just how much in our world today can traumatize us without our even realizing it. It's a lot to digest, but his writing remains consistently compelling and thought-provoking. If you choose this one for a book group, be prepared for an all-night discussion about cultural toxicities alone.

Of course, no book on trauma would be complete without suggestions for healing. In the book's final chapters, Maté offers what he calls "pathways to wholeness," clarifying at the outset that his definition of healing is not an "end state" but a "movement towards" wellness. This distinction spares us the false hope of a magic cure because, again, as Maté makes clear, trauma's telltale sign is its imprint on us forever. The sheer tenacity of its effects is no doubt why Maté's pathways include the holistic approaches of curiosity, understanding, self-compassion, and acceptance, among others.

Maté also touches on the use of psychedelics in treating trauma, adding a fascinating account of his personal "communion with God" in a Peruvian rain forest which, to his surprise, suffused him with profound insights that he brought to this work. He makes it clear, though, that his focus is not on finding or endorsing a magic medicinal cure, but rather on society and our need to recognize how it's hurting us. It all starts, he says, with "shedding the toxic myths" of what we've come to accept as normal. It all comes down to "waking up."

Well, this book not only woke me up but kept me reading well into the night. I'll read it again. It's really that deserving.

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The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture